ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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