ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
