laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
40s are totally the cure
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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