Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
