Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you told grandpa to call you daddy
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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