I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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