This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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