Pants 0. Shit 1.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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