the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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