just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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