3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
whose parrot is this?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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