Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
