When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
