We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize