i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
