you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
