Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
