I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
