you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
