there was a trapeze. enough said
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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