I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
