worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
