quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
