he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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