Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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