I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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