Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
