I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
