SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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