I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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