she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize