bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
