a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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