Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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