Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
