Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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