Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
