You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
