There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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