When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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