Her vagina should come with caution tape.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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