I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize