your parents love me but you hate me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
