So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
