so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
