In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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