how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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