the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize