THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
