You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
