Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I checked into jail on foursquare
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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