Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize