i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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