Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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