woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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