yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
