Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
