They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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