Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
