His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
