She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
