I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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