I think I died a long time ago.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize