there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
