You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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