Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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