I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need a beard to bite.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
